| 摘要: | 這是一篇關於我在靈性修行過程中，發現自我之歷程，是一種自我覺察之旅，藉由修行的每一段經驗中看到自己、瞭解自己、進而接受自己的貪、嗔、癡。看到了自己深度的生命脈絡，沒有經歷這樣的靈性修行過程，我沒有機會看到自己的深度人格氣質。進而瞭解自己的過去，接受自己的現在，並努力實踐著自己未來的一本自我敘說探究之論文。以敘事研究之「整體－—內容」之觀點分析與詮釋。藉由不斷的閱讀、理解、再閱讀、再理解的過程來分析探究文本資料。 本研究探究的是研究者自己本身的生命經驗，書寫的動機源自於研究者本身從2008年寒假期間至今的靈性修行中療癒過程與自我成長與改變歷程。從心靈創傷的角度出發，靈性覺察的發現開始至靈性療癒的奇妙之旅。將靈性修行的經驗與無形界的種種現象一一描述下來，透過此歷程經驗開展新的生命意義與存在的自我肯定價值。從一個無法面對、接納、放下的我，到一個能學習以一個沒有「對」、「錯」的觀點來包容自己進而包涵他人。接納自己，才有可能接納他人、愛自己，才有可能愛他人、肯定自己的存在，才有可能肯定他人的存在。總是追求以為美好的未來，或活在創傷後悔的過去中的我，漸漸地長大了。我學會了活在當下，懂得珍惜生命中的此時此刻。
This dissertation described my findings of the essential self’s through spirituality. It was a journey of self-awareness. From each moment and each event, I learned to observe myself, realized myself, and accepted all my greed, anger and ignorance. I was aware of my life-context deeply from my experiences of spirituality. If I hadn’t taken this journey in self, I wouldn’t have had a chance to encounter my deep personality. Therefore, I couldn’t have finished this thesis of self-narrative inquiry which mentioned the experiences of how I could encounter my past lives, accept myself of this life, and try to achieve my unfinished business of many lives. “Holistic-content” analysis method was adopted in this research. Based on the process of reading, realizing, meta-reading and meta-realizing, I analyzed and researched the context data. This study mentioned about my life experiences on spirituality process. The motivation of my writing about self-narrative inquiry was that I noted all events and reviews of my spirituality process on my blog from 2008. I recorded not only all my experiences but also the self-growth and self-transforming of inner self. This study stated from the hurt of spirit as well as the awareness of spirit to the healing and transforming of it. This research not only described the experiences of spirituality and the phenomena of spiritual world, but also told how I developed my brand-new meaning of life and my self-affirmation. Through the experiences, I learned how to face myself, accept myself, and let go of myself. I gained a different view of seeing this world: a view without “right” and “wrong”, a view of the neutral position. In terms of this neutral position, I realized that as I became accepting, loving and affirming myself, I began accepting, loving and affirming others. I grew up from a person who chased after the perfect future or was brought up in the traumatic and regretful past gradually. I realized that I ought to cherish what I am and what I have owned in the course of living in the real moments. |
